I really salute your courage in sharing what you hold personal to yourself. Yes, beliefs is personal!!! The essence of faith is understanding and realizing the Supreme Being in your heart and worship Him all alone as clearly confirmed in the Glorious Quran. God says “Have they not travelled through the land, and have their hearts wherewith to understand and ears wherewith to hear? Verily, it is not the eyes that grow blind, but it is the hearts which are in the breasts that grow blind” – Quran 22:46. Scientists also confirmed the pivotal role of the heart that contains a sophisticated network of neurons and it secrete hormones that control the entire body.
Again, God Almighty (Allah in Arabic, Eli, Elohim or Elah in Hebrew/Aramaic) is absolutely unique in His person and in His attributes. In no way is He to be compared, or comparable, with any other person or thing that we know or can imagine - "Is nothing like Him, nothing is in the likeness of Him that can be imagined." Then how can we know Him? We will realise him through His attributes. The last and Final Revelation of God - the Holy Qur'an gives us ninety-nine attributes of God with the crowning name - ALLAH! These ninety-nine attributes or names called the Asma-ul-husna (the Most Beautiful names) are interspersed throughout the whole Qur'anic text.
Here is a sample segment of that Most Beautiful names from the Glorious Quran:
“He is ALLAH besides whom there is no other god; THE SOVEREIGN (Al-Malik), THE HOLY ONE (Al-Qudus), THE SOURCE OF PEACE AND PERFECTION (Al-Salam), THE GUARDIAN OF FAITH (Al-Mumin), THE PRESERVER OF SAFETY (Al-Muaminu), THE EXALTED IN MIGHT (Al-Aziz), THE IRRESISTIBLE (Al-Jabar), THE SUPREME (Al-Mutakabir).
Glory be to Allah; (High is He) above the partners they ascribed to Him. He is Allah, THE CREATOR (Al-Haliki), THE EVOLVER (Al-Bariu), THE BESTOWER OF FORMS OR COLOURS (Al-Muzawir), to Him belongs The Most Beautiful names.
All that is in the heavens and the earth, doth declare His praise and glory. And He is THE EXALTED IN MIGHT (Al-Aziz), THE WISE (Al-Hakim) ” – Holy Quran 59:23-24.
In the two verses quoted above, we count thirteen of the ninety-nine attributes interspersed throughout the Holy Qur'an. In its original Arabic, the wordings and their construction are absolutely inimitable and sublime.
God Almighty through the Prophet (pbuh) has protected Islam and the Muslims by keeping the word "Father" (ABB) for God, out of its religious vocabulary. It is a miraculous fact that though the Holy Qur'an lists ninety-nine attributes of God, including the word RABB which means - Lord, Cherisher, Sustainer, Evolver, etc, (this attribute Rabb occurs dozens of times in the Book of God) - But the easier word Abb, meaning "Father" in Arabic and in Hebrew, is not used even once, thus preserving the Muslims from the blasphemy of sharing His attributes with human!